“Retributions”
by houdinishideaway
Summary: book5spoliers Harry reflects on the death of his close friend, and the destiny he must face, and finds comfort in the arms of Luna Lovegood.


"Retributions"  
  
by Houdini hideaway  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE:   
  
This contains spoilers from "Phoenix". Don't read this if you haven't read the 5th book!  
  
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"Life isn't always fair".   
  
Harry Potter hated that phrase. He detested those words with a passion, stronger than anyone could ever realize as he started his sixth year at Hogwarts. Harry couldn't believe that four months ago he witnessed the murder of his godfather. How could Sirus be gone? Every time Harry stopped to think about Sirus, his enter body went numb like he had when Gilderoy Lockheart had accidentally de-boned him during his second year. But this was much worse. There was no potion that Harry could take to cure his heart ache.   
  
  
  
He had never known what it was like to have a parent or a real family. The Dursley's certainly could not count for that. They hated them, they detested him. Harry never told his Aunt or Uncle about the death of his godfather. He didn't know what their reaction would be, but Harry knew he could not stand to face it.   
  
At least Harry had the Weasleys, and Hermione. He had the Order. It was very very strange but during Potion class, Harry noticed that Snape was looking very tragic, and had a sympathetic look whenever he gazed at Harry. The only conclusion that Harry could come up with is that Snape may have hated Sirus, but he certainly didn't want him dead, and he couldn't help but feel sorry for Harry, losing the closest thing to a parent that he had ever known. The thought of Snape displaying an emotion beside cruelty was simply too much to bear, and was almost as painful for Harry as Sirius's death itself.   
  
Harry felt very isolated from the world. Nobody understood what it felt like, to experience so much pain, and so much loss. Nobody knew what it felt like to different from everybody else. To grow up being bullied and tortured by your cousin and Uncle, to learn suddenly that you belong to a whole new world, a world that you thought only existed in dreams, and to discover that you were involved in the tangled affairs of an evil force more destructive that you can imagine. Nobody knew what it was like to have to fight year after year for your own safety, and the safety of your friends, and the safety of the countless strangers inhabiting the world. Nobody knew what it felt like to hear your parents final moments scream in your ears. Nobody ever had to see the shadowy vapors of victims of Lord Voldemort appear out of a wand. Nobody knew what it felt like to watch your classmate be murdered, your friends be tortured and persuaded by Death Eaters, and watch your godfather - the last link to your dead parents- die. Nobody knew, and nobody understood.   
  
Except Her.   
  
But how could she love him? After all, she was there when he went to the Ministry that night. She helped him fight, and escape. She was smarter and braver than he ever could have guessed. No, he never paid much attention to her before. They had just met, and she got on his nerves. She was so weird. Everybody made fun of her. And they were cruel to her. They'd hide her belonging so she could not find them. The injustice of that made Harry burn! How could anyone treat her that way? Why would they steal her things? What purpose would that hold? She never did anything to hurt anyone. What did it matter if she was a little different that everybody else, and that she had a few little personality quirks. If it was one thing Harry had discovered, it was that the world needed a few more free spirits just like her. And they had a lot of things in common. She had seen her mother die when she was very young. She could hear the voice beyond the veil in the Department of Mysteries. And she could see the thestrals. She understood what it was like to experience the death of a loved one. Luna Lovegood understood him!   
  
He was amazed at how fast he and Luna fell in love. He was amazed at how quickly he grew into the comfortable habit of going to Luna to discuss his emotions. She always knew the right thing to say, and she could always make him feel better. Her quirky remarks about the Crumble Horned Snorkback always made him smile. He loved Luna. And she loved him. But Harry didn't understand how she could love him, knowing what Harry's destiny was, and how his life would have to contain or end in murder. Harry had a destiny, and yet Luna wanted to be there by his die through out his life. He couldn't quite believe it.   
  
But then, as Harry watched Luna enter the Great Hall, find him through the crowd, smile as she walked across the Hall catching his gaze, and sat down next to him, with a kiss for a greeting, Harry decided that none of this didn't matter. All that mattered was that Luna loved him, and he loved her. Together they would have each other, and Harry knew he could face whatever life handed him as long as he had Luna's hand to hold.   
  
"Life may not be fair," he thought stroking Luna's hand, "but sometimes life can try to make up for it."  
  
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